Right Hook of Doom
This weekend I was having dinner with a couple of friends who decided that it would be a great idea to go to a bar and catch the latest pay-per-view spectacle of the UFC. The UFC is the most well-known promotion of Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), in which people that decide that their best talent is hitting other people compete for fame and glory. I was not as excited about this as they were. It may seem that I disrespect these athletes, but that is not the case. I just don’t find their sport to be terribly exciting. I have worked with people that rave about MMA incessantly, arguing to no end over who could kick whose ass and how badly this ass-kicking would be administered. This makes this seem exciting and fun to watch. Gladiator fighting! Primal battle! The Epic Glory of Combat! Yet, when I watch it, this doesn’t seem to translate.
Anyway, the main brawl was a title tilt between the People’s Champ and the Unfamiliar to the Casual Viewer Challenger. The names are unimportant. It starts with the Challenger coming to the ring wearing a necklace of huge chainlinks and having a look of drowsy rage. The Champ comes out with a dazed look on his face, as if he may have drank too much the night before. The Champ and Challenger glare at each other in the ring. The Champ looks awfully pudgy, and I try to remember if he always looked like the bastard love child of Vanilla Ice and the Pillsbury Doughboy. The Challenger sort of looks like he’s about to declare “Hulk Smash!” most unironically. The fight starts and the two fighters circle around each other, half-heartedly throwing punches from as far as they can reach. Somebody in the bar yells drunkenly at the TV, demanding that they “Fuckin’ Do Sommuthin Fa Dac Yo!” As if the plea was heard, a few seconds later the Champ throws a left hook at the body of the Challenger and takes a step back. In response, the Challenger throws a right hook that looks somehow both like a lucky stab in the dark and a calculated response, but at any rate seems to tap the Champ on the chin. This drops the Champ to the mat, and the Challenger jumps on the Champ. A few punches later the ref tackles the Challenger off the fallen Champ. A mere two minutes into the Epic Battle of MMA Glory, the fight is over.
I wince at how anti-climatic this was, and look over at my friend who is throwing his hands in the air and declaring it to be a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions. (Embellishment mine.) The entire bar looks chagrined at the turn of events. This is infinitely more interesting than anything that happened in the ring.
I am still nonplussed as to what all the fuss is about. Again, great athletes but boring action. Give me the statistical nerd goldmine of baseball and the goofiness of fantasy sports any day. That’s another post for another time though…
[...] Forty: Right hook of doom (UFC 71 = great athletes, boring [...]
If you’re just going to watch one fight and judge from that why even bother?
These things happen, it’s not such a huge surprise as some people make it out to be, especially with a fighter as defensively limited as Liddell.
Ninja Warrior is so much more awesome.
I like how you’re getting a link from a fan site, and a rib from a fan. You win on both sides!
I seem, also, to remember a show..uh, I think it was called Most Extreme Challenge or something like that. It was wacky and a bit like American Gladiator for Japanese retards and idiots. Plus, it was dubbed over and always made out into a huge joke. Like “Toy Industry vs. Porn Stars” or the like.
@superhaloman: You misunderstood me. I have seen more than one UFC fight. It’s just that this particular Ultimate Fighting Spectacle failed to grab my interest. The same thing happened when I watched the Couture-Sylvia fight. It just wasn’t interesting to me, the Casual Viewer. I’m not saying that I’m looking for bloodshed either. For example, I actually found the armbar that Din Thomas put on Jeremy Stephens to be quite impressive. Perhaps I’m wrong though, and maybe that wasn’t impressive at all to the Hardcore Fan. I’m just saying that the Main Event and most of the other matches didn’t seem to have much to them despite the hype and screaming, and I find myself having more fun making light of them.
The main fight was anti climatic, but you have to look at the whole card in its entirety. There were some good fights.
Dude, you have a named reader! Way cool! High fives all around!
I think I remember the show D is talking about…that’s on late night. Or was at some point – quite a lot of stupid fun.