Lost in Limbo

I cannot explain how many times I go to work and roll my eyes at my coworkers. A favorite activity of many in the office is the fine art of smack talk and insults. I do not participate because a) it’s pointless and b) they are really quite juvenile about it. The fraternity was a few years ago, guys.

My current boss hates my old boss, even though he’s never met him. Sure, my old boss might be flawed, but it’s really childish to keep berating someone you don’t even know. This is especially true if your rants are easily countered by simple logic. You get a big eye roll, new boss of mine.

I’m working towards escaping and doing something different, which is specifically a career change. I’m trying to accept that I will be in limbo for some time. The consolation is that things could be a lot better on the other side. I suck at not having concrete plans with known results though. It frightens and paralyzes me. I also find myself confronted by many news articles telling me how the economy sucks, and how nobody graduating is getting a jobs. I recall that I took this job three years ago in a fit of desperation. I worry that this plan will work out no better, leaving me more astray. I’m scared, stressed, and lost.

There is this particular brand of bottled tea called Honest Tea that I like to drink from time to time. They place inspirational quotes on the inside of the their lids. Here is the quote that was on the the lid of the bottle I drank this evening:

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. Not to dare is to lose oneself.” — Søren Kierkegaard

Honest Tea?

Fruity Solidarity

To whom it may concern:

It has been quite a few years since I’ve had braces. I hear that you are getting them soon, and I would like to tell you my story.

My parents acquiesced to getting me braces in middle school (seventh/eighth grad). I recall being leery about it, but I was also excited about the prospect of straight teeth. What is strange is that I don’t remember what my teeth were like before braces. I think they were mostly crooked and shifted oddly, as well as being a bit of an overbite. To correct my teeth, I was to have braces for two years.

I remember bits and pieces of my initial procedure. My family was referred to this particular orthodontist by our long time family dentist. At the time I had a problem involuntarily gagging while dentistry work was being done in my mouth. I relayed this problem to the technicians who started my braces procedure. They told me to concentrate on the paper mache balloon hanging from the ceiling in the distance. It worked miraculously. To this day, it is still a trick I use from time to time at the dentist.

Anyway, here are several other things I remember:
– The substance that was used to make a mold of my teeth had this very particular flavor to it. I now somehow both remember it and cannot immediately recall what that taste was like.
– I remember picking out the color of the bands around my braces. I believe I picked blue, which was a color I used most of my two years in braces.
– There was a bar placed that ran across the roof of my mouth. I remember running my tongue over it and thinking about how foreign it felt.
–One of the technicians was rather attractive, especially to my seventh grade self. *cough*

Every month afterward I would go back to the orthodontist’s office for checkups and replacements on the band running through my braces. The band would get smaller and smaller every time, and it would make my teeth very sore. To help alleviate this I was given a piece of plastic to chew on and try to work the stress out of my gums. Thinking about it in retrospect, I probably should have just used some baby teething toy from Wal-Mart. ;)

I also followed all the warnings and protections for maintaining my braces, which included using a Water Pik in lieu of flossing and saying no to popcorn, gum, and hard food and candies. I so followed this cold turkey that it was years before I would even consider getting any of those food items.

After two years, I got my braces off. I was given plastic retainers to wear at night to keep my teeth inline. I believe I wore them every night for at least a year, if not more. It was a small price to pay to make sure my two years of a metal mouth were not in vain.

The results were well worth the effort. I now have well-aligned teeth, which is definitely a point of vanity I can hang my hat on. Brushing my teeth is a lot easier now that my teeth are lined up correctly. My jaw also rests nicely together when I close my mouth, resulting in less stress.

Ultimately, it was well worth the discomfort to get excellent teeth. I hope you will feel the same way. I think it is a very worthy and excellent investment.

Regards and pearly whites,
NegativeForty

Awkward Games

Growing up, I always felt like a bit of an outsider, even to my own family. I was the nerdy kid with a precocious imagination in a family that didn’t quite have the same ideals. Now I realize that description sounds a bit cross, but it was not bad. They just weren’t exactly sure what to do with me. So it goes.

Still, my parents did try to make a normal kid out of me. As such, they convinced me to sign up for all the local youth sports leagues: football, baseball, and basketball. Being the shy kid that didn’t like confrontation and was respectful to my parents, I hung my head and went with the plan.

Hotel Life

One of the things about my job that I particularly hate is hotel life. It’s hard to fall asleep in a strange bed. It’s hard to find a decent breakfast. It’s hard to feel comfortable.

My apartment isn’t the nicest place in the world, but it’s home. I also like to keep to myself; as such, my place is a sanctuary and a calming place for the most part. After this week is done, I’ll have been out for the better part of two weeks, being unable to sleep the entire time.

He says that it shows I want/can do it. I think it steels my resolve to never do it again.

On Writing: Lo-Fi Connections

So why have I avoided my online blog for so long? I was not quite sure of that answer, to be honest. It was difficult for me to come up with coherent enough thoughts to commit to electronic type. Sure, I could occasionally come up with a witty thought or two, but for the most part it involved a lot of starting at my computer. That was usually accompanied by a growing frustration that would end in a two sentence post that was pretty much always code for ‘I can’t think of anything to say.’ Eventually, I would just give up on the blog post thing and just hope my friends write enough posts that provoke me into writing silly comments. *Hi Ms. Peach!*

I had just resigned myself to not being much of a blogger when a sequence of events led me to reexamine how I collect my thoughts. The results have been surprising and rather immediate.

Clouds Dissipating

I tried to go out today, as I was feeling a little better. However, I’m still not a hundred percent. I got dizzy and went home.

I am feeling better, in more ways than one.

Knockout Flu

I was still rather beat by my flu bug today. I slept most of the day and didn’t really do anything again today. I wonder if I contracted swine flu. Maybe I should get a t-shirt.

The bug beat me so badly that I apparently forgot to write a post for the 16th and didn’t realize it until two days later. Alas.

So the highlight of my few waking hours today was being pleasantly surprised that the Rays vs. Royals game was on TV, and the Rays pulled off the comeback. Very nice.

Cough, cough

I was still sick today, and at times it wasn’t pretty… So, yeah. Nothing really going on.

Filming My Accounts

I think I have a new goal, if I can stand the allure of adventure. Films and accounting; that’s what I think I want to do.

Bandits, Levels, and a Decade

It seems like I’m juggling one too many things, but I know it not to be true. I’m just not completely focused.

I wish I could help. I’m not a bandit.

“Except… those levels are a little high.” Practical and concrete evidence of your pending destruction is troubling. I’m was not surprised though.

They say it’s ten years. I don’t believe it. I’m not sure I care.